two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
