I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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