How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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