There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
