I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This house was built for laser tag.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
