"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize