I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
