that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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