Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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