literally had 100 drinks last night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
