hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize