i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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