We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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