i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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