i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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