I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He passed out mid-signature
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize