Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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