do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i drank out of a bidet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's always time for handjobs
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize