i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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