Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
its liver damage thursday
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
