maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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