I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
