i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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