the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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