The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
