watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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