I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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