I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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