i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
