so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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