talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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