she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
