they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
