i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
