i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
