I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
