I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
