Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
