i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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