wat bout pragnant strippers??
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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