my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
