Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
