He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
