you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
