I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
