Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
