kristin has been a bad kristin
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
