You just made me feel so damn special
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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