I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
