I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
