I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
