...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
