I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
