btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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