problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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