i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
