ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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