I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
