ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
