I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
