i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
