I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
