just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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