I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
