My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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